MOISTURIZED MASCULINITY- VAGARIES OF FEMINISM

Young Succeeding women now fear that men feel so intimidated by the fact that they are far wealthier than their men will ever be - denying this would be like trying to fake an erection, just don't try. Its easier to fake an orgasm.

I am CIRO, I am a breadwinner, I protect and provide. This is what men do. That is who we are, and if we forget it, if the instinct to protect and provide for our loved ones is never diluted or weakened, then we are ultimately pointless, and no better than eunuchs.

In her book The Female Eunuch. Germaine Greer opined that "Feminism was never about reversing traditional rolls". In my view, feminism was not even about equality. It was about liberation - women being free to be themselves, and to fulfill their potential without restrictions placed on them by society or some man, and to follow their true nature and calling.

In this equal shared world, some people, mainly women think men are not doing well. Hanna Rosin even had the "balls" to write a book titled "The End Of Men". In which she urges that the Y Chromosome is "so last century", (lets put the blame on 'I am Cait'), suggesting that "The gap between overachieving women and underachieving men is widening, and men are becoming "dysfunctional and angry"

"I am CIRO, I am a breadwinner, I protect and provide. This is what men do. That is who we are, and if we forget it, if the instinct to protect and provide for our loved ones is never diluted or weakened, then we are ultimately pointless, and no better than eunuchs."

For all its horrors, the Second World War simplified mans role in life; but after that, his place in the world became less certain. The young men of the Fifties, unable to match the previous generations heroics, became angry and rebellious. Those were men that were raised to build empires and win battles And came to the Sixties, which brought sexual freedom groovy parties, promiscuity - and uncertainly. Divorce was the latest trend. Men could no longer rely on their wives sticking around if they weren't up to the scratch.

The place of the man before the War

Does Feminism extend to role reversal? Would it be right to expose our women to danger? Like being the one to go downstairs and confront the burglars while her wimpy man cowers under the duvet, wetting his jim- jam in terror. There is no law that says a high flying web-logger can't be the the breadwinner while her man stays at home tending to their cats and dogs.

Stay with a woman for long enough, and they will see you riding high, or even down and out. They'll see you when you're the golden boy and they'll love you when you're yesterdays man ( lol, shots fired). If she loves you enough then, at your lowest point, she'll help you, encourage and give you any kind of support, including money. Aint we just grateful to have them around?
But ultimately that changes nothing, its still our world. Does it rock a boat if the woman earns more? NO! it just drives the boat into a Titanic sized iceberg. Why, because the man feels as if some deep part of him is empty.

Girls are now outperforming boys at schools, universities and increasingly in the job market. Women now outnumber men in the American workforce. "The post-industrial economy increasingly being dominated by millennials is indifferent, gender neutral cares less about a man's size or strength. The attributes that are most valuable in today's 'Internet of Things' age - Social intelligence, open communication, the ability to sit and 'canibalise' old models like Amazon, Uber and AirBnB has done, at a minimum is not predominantly male. In fact, the opposite may be true, and the most damning place of all, we men  are "reasonably unable to adapt" or as they say in Russia we are becoming "balls and chains".

"If she loves you enough then, at your lowest point, she'll help you, encourage and give you any kind of support, including money"

You work for those you love. You do your best, and sometimes you fail miserably, but everyday you MUST go out there, loose your pride, get your hands dirty and earn a living because there are people at home depending on you. You do it for yourself. Because deep down in his DNA, every man is a breadwinner, and bravery is a critical factor in breadwinning. According to Matthew Parris "It's not being brave that makes you do brave things. It is doing brave things that makes you brave."

We must strive to get the balance right between emotional and academic intelligence and show exactly the right degree of ambition, knowing that defiance and endurance with a little push for the extra is what makes a champion. Our ladies should give us a little credit, for we have accepted the new normal - The rise of the female breadwinners. 



Written by Ciro

MOISTURIZED MASCULINITY - WEAPONS GRADE VANITY

"Beauty is a form of genius-- is higher, indeed, than genius , as it needs no explanation…" Oscar Wilde

For today's generation, social media, selflies and porn are the major vectors  of the male desire to be desired. They want to be wanted for their bodies, not their wardrobe anymore. And certainly not their minds.

Some men, sometimes feel ostracised by this new generation of men in a  society that seemingly values pecs over PhD, and hyper sexuality over, say, a good reputation  . Please note, There's taking pride in your appearance , and there's this sort of weapons- grade vanity.

As has been said of late, that " after the clothes come the body " we all used to be simple blokes going about first in pursuit of scholarly excellence, then the pursuit of affection and finally the purpose. A whole lot has changed in-between, but the core should remain. Those were the days when men particularly vital statistics, as it used to be 36-24-36 for svelte beauties. These days the fashion industries has raised the bar to a certain "size zero". Raising a gene ratio of pressured anorexics on one hand  and yet another sucked into the other extreme of the body enhancement surgeries some are at the mercy of the famed surgeon in the wealthy suburb of Beverly hills (with the 90210 zip code)

I started investigating this new trend of men getting Pumped-up. Whatever you call it, it's a certain type

of "fit" , all about having abs , looking like a fitness model and trying to intimidate the rest of us.It's become the enthusiastic pursuit of a physical aesthetic and, particularly , the documenting of their body building achievements via ever available social media outlet, which now feels a bit vulgar for most parts

So this tendency towards buffness has become a cultural phenomenon of this age as defined by author and journalist Mark Simpson as "Spornosexuality". The term, denoting men who strive to look like sportsmen or porn stars, easily identified by tattoos , piercings, adorable beards and plunging necklines . it's eye- catching clear that for this group its less about clothes. They are convinced that there's no shirt, jacket or pair of shoes you could wear that gets as much reaction as a six  pack. Their own bodies have become an ultimate accessory. Fashioning them at the gym into a hot commodity - one that they share at a marketplace. This behaviour poorly depicts the next stage in masculine evolution.

"Some men, sometimes feel ostracised by this new generation of men in a  society that seemingly values pecs over PhD, and hypersexuality over, say, a good reputation"

Simpson first began writing about the : "sporno" culture in 2006, noting " The rise in the Hyper sexualised, Homo provocative imagery of sportsmen like David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo. Like Dolce and Gabbana's fashion shoots featuring the Italian National Football team in the shower in 2006 . This concept appeared as one of New York Times ' 2006 Ideas of the  year. Finally in 2014, Simpson pronounced the emergence of the "Spornosexuals". A certain writer Clive Martin in Vice magazine , described this group " as an section in a vest". A walking, preening monument to the British masculinity crisis"

Here's a note to the rest of us, probably out of shape maybe Not fat-fat, but a deeply unremarkable, weak, soft and shapeless frame with a career involving zero physical excretion. a rapidly expanding and contracting waistline, showing your preference for a glass of beer instead of gin and sliced lemon. Please don't allow this 'Sporno" culture put further pressure on , by requiring you to tick their boxes(i.e.)looking groomed, smelling good, or dressing exclusively in branded clothing and also adhere to a specific physical ideal. An improbable, sporty, porny, ripped-to-shit ideal, suggesting that men are increasingly beholden to the same unrealistic body expectations that have long plagued our women, with the abdominal “V-line” becoming as fetishised as the female “thigh gap”.

"So this tendency towards buffness has become a cultural phenomenon of this age as defined by author and journalist Mark Simpson as "Spornosexuality"."

I heard it took Daniel Craig till his 4th instalment of 007 to finally cut the “sporno” look, so take your time mate,  go at your pace, a weekly bowl of Spaghetti and Cheddar or double layered Poundo with extra cow tail never killed any man , go ahead, uphold a counter culture.  For a recent  Mintel report suggested that “women now see only the extremely image-conscious and product-consuming men around them – or in bed with them.” also implying that the glistening pecs and abs as seen in men’s health and fitness magazines are fast  becoming more appealing to men as interests in other magazines like  T3 and STUFF  has been on a decline for some years now.

All hope is not lost however, as We're seeing this group of “Sporno” men occupy previously 'feminine' spaces in the home - spending more time on housework, homework and parenting - but also as smart consumers, embracing Godliness, beauty products, and the act of cooking and care itself.

On a final note, the vainest of us should  not be the model for manliness. GENIUS, CHIVALRY and HONOUR must remain the hallmark of Masculinity. I get it that we all want to be attractive and desired, but after the bees land on the honeycomb, what else would they find? certainly after the body must come some intellect, skill (even DIY) and character. We MUST value genius above beauty Mr. Oscar Wilde!


Written by Ciro

The difference between an event planner and event designer

One of the most common misconceptions among people and organizations is an event professional's job title, and the responsibilities and talents associated with it.  While working toward the common goal of making your event fabulous, the job responsibilities of each of these professionals is actually very different.

Now to help you learn the roles of each event professional, we'll help you break it on down.

Event Planner

An event planner is someone who helps figure out how to make an event happen. This is someone who has well-established connections with vendors and will organize the technical aspects of an event. The event planner is well-versed in event coordination, budget allocation, supply chain identification, vendor management, project management, general organization. With handling the details of an event, this pro has great relationships with area professionals and can also often get discounts or add-ons. From guidance every step of the way to day-of coordination, a planner will usually customize his or her services to best meet your needs. Here at Sautaver event planning is the core of what we do. An event planner helps the client make informed decisions and is often the best advocate, they have nobody's interest in mind but the client.

Event Designer

While a wedding planner is strongest in the logistics and planning of an event, an event designer shines when designing the aesthetics of an event.  This is where the 'wow' factor comes in. An event designer doesn't just refer clients to stationery or favor companies, but has the ability to create things from scratch. A great event designer has all of the tools to create the details to make an event unique, from a workshop to electronic cutting machines, to fine linens and china's and the inside scoop on where to find the right props for the job. The designer, makes the client dream of aesthetics come alive. At Sautaver, we create design concepts but often times work with a designer to bring it to life.

I hope we have been able to throw more light on the job descriptions of these pros. Further more, here in Nigeria, when people plan events especially weddings they mostly only consider the design aspect forgetting the most important part which is planning. Some people can manage the planning details themselves without the help of a pro but another thing to consider is the day of the event. It is daunting and tacky to be the host and the coordinator at the same time. If its a wedding, its totally impossible so this is where the planner comes in again. Nevertheless, for a thorough and flawless event its ideal to get both pros. If you can't afford both, then get a planner who understands design.

culled from bonafide bride 

LETS TALK

People! I think its time we stopped all these election campaign wars, its not doing any good (still gist). 
Who you vote for is your choice, why you vote for them is your opinion, you really do not need to/try to compel anyone to like your choice or agree with your opinion. 
We must understand the power of the social media and use it wisely, because all these harsh views is beginning to brew turmoil. 

We have forgotten that we all have one vision, which is for a 'better Nigeria', but all i can see now is people hating on each other over this Nigeria that we all want to make better. How are we going to achieve a better Nigeria if we are doing this to ourselves. Lets stop playing partisan politics and tell ourselves the truth, let us ask ourselves hard knock questions and see what we get. Do we want a better Nigeria or we are just propagandizing with politicians? Why are we allowing politicians make us lose our values? I have seen people who i actually thought are credible, bring down themselves with their words via social media all in the name of painting someone black, its appalling. 

For people who have seen that the system isn't working what did you do all the while, before the electoral campaign? instead of ranting now (like you just woke up), For those who feel like the seating government doesn't need a contender, like seriously! someone has to compete with them, and theres nothing anybody can do about that right/freedom to contest, besides i didn't see that very many people coming out to contend. (lets give these guys a break for even coming out). You want XYZ to win while desiring a 'better Nigeria, the other person wants 'ABC' to win and also desires a better Nigeria, theres a common goal here but with different carriers. So are we supposed to run ourselves down and over, doing all sorts just because we have different representatives of this goal? Common people! Its time to wake up and smell the coffee. If any of these guys win and they do not attain the goal that we all desire, then we can TALK, and not wait till another election.

We have two major contenders, truth is we don't even know who's going to birth this vision but we will somehow give a chance to whoever is choosen.  Irrespective of their manifestos and all the propaganda, I don't know for sure if Jonathan will still make things change, or if Buhari can try, and neither do you! we can only find out. 

We should have one voice, not to vote but for the desire we have for this nation. Cast your vote for whomsoever you choose. But the real fight is, if you don't see that dream turning up, then, as a people we can speak out and shout all we can. This is not the time for such. This is a democratic election, choose whom you want, don't force people, don't hate on anybody, don't bring down the next person because they have a different choice, this has to end, stop fueling violence with all your debates, let people enjoy the freedom to choose whatever they want.

I need to clearly state that am not really into this electoral process, i want the best for this country and i want the best man to win, and really if i have a choice of candidate it will be my choice and nobody's business. All in all, i vote for peace in Nigeria.