Back in the day weddings were a lot easier to plan, you have family and friends actually helping and supporting you in the process, usually mums will organize women to come cook at the back of the yard, we buy everything ourselves. Hall decoration takes almost nothing, the seating arrangements were theatrical, making it so easy to invite the whole village, there were balloon decorations and old fashioned draping, we had the high table system, no particular seating section for the couple, no VIP or VVIP section, no caterer and service attendants just family and friends assisting in serving food and drinks and even souvenirs, things do get clumsy but it was what it was then. Usually it is the very wealthy that could afford a proper setting to an extent, they use big hotels who'll incorporate the banquet seating arrangement making it classy, and even if they were to organize themselves there was always some element of class.
But with the evolution of party planning, things started to change. Not that family and friends don't assist still but there are more options. We have planners, DIY's, more ideas, more creativity etc. However, inspite of this beautiful happenstance, we still carry our old fashion ideology into the modern day planning. Like i always say, the cost of your wedding is usually determined mostly by your GUEST LIST, and this goes in two ways but for the purpose of this write-up i'll only talk on one way which is the guest number. Kindly note that when you invite people to your wedding, you are asking them to come witness your new found status, you want them to merry with you because its a good thing.
I would normally think that the people who are close to you and your family should be at this gathering and not otherwise, i also would expect that you are prepared to take care of them. Now due to the seating arrangements these days, you may spend about N4,000 on each guest in an average wedding, after adding the cost of food, drinks, centerpiece, napkins, chair, table, linen, souvenir and all that makes up a proper setting. Multiply that amount by 1000-300 guest and see what it gives you. You have not added other basic things like venue, clothing and so many other things that make up a complete event. If i were to use a theatrical seating here, by the time you knock off tables, linens, centerpieces etc, you'll see that you have saved yourself some money.
Am not trying to suggest to people to use the theatrical seating arrangement, but am only trying to show how the number of guest can affect your budget. So this ideology of inviting the whole village to your wedding should die the way theatrical seating arrangements at weddings died, because it cost more to bring that ideology into this modern day setting. Like it or not these days people tend to spend more on weddings, yet they want to invite more? and usually they can't afford it. If you can afford it, there is no problem at all, but where i have a problem is when you can't afford it but you just what to maintain that ideology of inviting the whole village. Some want to respect their parents wish by inviting all their parents friends, how about respecting yourself by cutting back, usually you don't know half the people at your wedding. Some plan their wedding hoping that certain friends or relative will pick up certain bills. Maybe some uncle promised you XXX amount, what if that uncle is unable to redeem that promise, what happens? you are already indebted. It doesn't matter who pledged to do stuff for you, plan your wedding according to your pocket.
Its very important to plan because anything can go wrong but at least you'll still have a wedding. It amazes me when someone's wedding is like a week to go and they are still saying they don't have money, like seriously! Your wedding isn't a charity, its the ceremony that makes your marriage formal, and it also isn't a business venture. I personally think no one should borrow to have a wedding, and no one should be indebted when planning, its not right. You may not be able to afford the wedding of your dreams but at least you are getting married to the person of your dreams, that should count. Truth is nothing else matters but the two of you.
As an event planner, i want the best for my clients and people generally and part of what i do is help people make informed decisions.
Did you know you can have an intimate wedding with few family and friends by using a restaurant? all you need to do is pay for the food, and cut off all that venue, decor etc budget. Did you know you can have a wedding with minimalistic arrangements? simple yet classy? Did you know that if you can't afford a planner you can get DIY service? Don't go looking for a planner when all you need is some decor rental to decorate your hall. I realized that in most cases when people say they want a planner, what they are really saying is that they just want the decor done, which i find myself asking when all that is done, what happens on the day of the event? who coordinates and manages everything to ensure it goes well? normally they have no answer or the same old my family and friends will help, which may not be bad, but would it be organized? It goes back to that part that shows that you may not be prepared to take care of your guest, you want to, but not prepared. Truth is most planners can decorate your hall but not everyone can afford that service so they just opt for rental decorators. It also appears that all most people want is how beautiful the hall looks as against the general beauty of the event which involves the most pivotal role which is management. Theres nothing wrong in just wanting a decorator but seeking DIY advice when you can't afford full planning is a good way of planning a nice wedding on a budget. There are so many cheaper, nicer and even classy options but would you be open to those options without feeling left out?
Everyone knows in their heart what they can afford at the point of planning their wedding, and what i've been trying to say in summary is 'Be Yourself'. You don't have to pay for that size of hall if you don't invite that large no of guest, you don't have to pay the caterer that amount if you would reduce your guest list, same goes for the chair and table rental,etc. Really your wedding ceremony must not be conventional, also you don't have to throw a lavish traditional and white wedding, you can make one loud and the other quiet. And if you must do inspite of all the constraint then do it well, get professional advice, plan well. You can have a beautiful wedding by avoiding all the odds caused by lack of proper planning and conventional thinking. So my dearies debunk that thinking, its better to have a small wedding than a disorganized one especially when you are trying to make it look like a big wedding. More importantly, you are not impressing anyone, your wedding is about you and if you don't have that type of budget that goes with planning a big event then make it simple.
