Your wedding is for you

Certain experiences has got me thinking about whats important to most women thats about to get married. Is the wedding really about you and your spouse or about pleasing people or a status symbol? Alot of people cant afford the wedding of their dreams but yet they want the wedding of their dreams making it almost impossible to attain a quality event.

My advice to ladies;

• Your wedding is firstly about you and your spouce 
• If you are working with a planner always always be open
• Always cut your coat according to your size
• If you want classy on a low budget ensure you get a planner who's creative enough to help you achieve it, though classy may be pricey but a level of class can be achieved on a low budget.
• DO NOT try to impress friends and family, you have got to be real and true to yourself. for instance you dont have to get expensive items as souvenirs, you dont have to invite everyone( you dont even know most of them), you dont have to compel your friends to buy expensive aso-ebi (remember everyone in your friends league may not be able to afford it, or may have other pressing needs)
• Just as your wedding decor is important, the management is way key as well, so in planning do not leave out the wedding day coordination.
• Try to avoid last minuites.
• You do not have to purchase an expensive wedding dress when you know your budget is low, you can rent a very lovely dress and look the expensive part.
• If your parent is insisting on so much, then you may have to suggest to them to contribute financially, for instance if they are asking you to invite more people you will spend more, so they should as well support you with money.
• Avoid listening to too many different people and follow your heart
• Be specific in giving certain details. If you are planning for 300 let it be the same amount, it becomes tacky when you plan for 300 and 600 guest turns up, it will be tough for the vendors to manage, they may not even have enough to go round leaving some form of disorganization.
• DO NOT say 'afterall you have invited the guest whatever they get let them have' its totally wrong, if you cant take care of them then dont invite them.
• If you cant afford a big wedding then plan towards having a small wedding.
• If you really cant afford to make both the traditional marriage and white wedding elaborate then pick the one you feel you want to make elaborate and concentrate on it. who says both have to be elaborate?
• Get wedding planning advice from a professional planner, the planner does not neccessarily have to manage your wedding physically but you can consult them for advice and maybe day-of-coordination if you want.
• Most importantly, like i have said over again, be true to yourself, you alone know your budget, you really do not have to impress anyone simply do what you can, the best you can and avoid the tackiness that comes with 'big wedding dreams on a low budget'

My bride in red

I promised some photos of my bride in a red dress when i wrote on wedding dresses. This is Anna and Tutu's wedding, held in Lagos. It was an intimate wedding, simple yet classy and unique.

Bride

Couple

Is'nt the red dress simply gorgeous? well i think it is and so is the couple. 

Young Female Titans

Young female entrepreneurs are changing the face of Nigeria. More young women are taking the bull by the horn and chasing after their dreams and aspirations. It is so encouraging to see that our women are not just subjected to the norm of being in the kitchen instead they are determined to make a difference, cutting across all fields, be it financial services, media, real estate, engineering, beauty, entertainment, event, fashion, the list is endless, young women in Nigeria are taking charge.

Often times though, we hear about the achievers, successful women in business and in the professional world, how they started and became successful which is really great and very inspiring. However, there are women who are in the process and seldom looked at. I set out to highlight some young Nigerian women who are still in the process but making dramatic impact. Against all odds these women set out to pursue their dreams, it was not an easy journey for them, it was not all rosy, but they remained steadfast and committed. Together, these women represents an up-and-coming entrepreneurial generation, proffering innovative solutions in their fields. It is my desire that many young women will be inspired by the experiences shared here to go the distance. It is very okay to dream big, you can be the receptionist in a company and aspire to be the MD, You could innovate something entirely new and create a business around it, you could create a system around an existing business, you can do anything you desire, it only takes hard-work, determination, passion, time, resilience, strong will and a 'can-do' drive. It is not easy but it is worthwhile.
Meet three inspiring young Nigerians in business;

Damilola Aina, 27, CEO Damilola Diamond (DD)

Résumé: An over achiever with a university degree. Her craving to organise people's outlook fashion wise launched her passion as a designer/image consultant. And today she has helped so many young women look even better.

Path to the Top: Her flare for fashion and style started at age 15 and she never believed in the word 'impossible'. While in the university Damilola went into modelling, and did jobs for companies like LG Slim, MTN, Coca-cola, Collectibles, Starcoms but to mention a few, she even won the Miss Festac Town beauty
pageant. At age 16 she started her business and her defining moment was when she succeeded in styling most of the girls in school. According to Damilola, she knew she had  more to offer so upon graduation she went on to acquire more experience by working with companies like Insight advertising, Sound city and Vlisco. These working experiences helped her grow her business stronger and better.

Recommendation: "Who says you cant wake up to be the person you dream to be! The you in you makes you the you that you are. Move! Dream! Achieve!.....don't sit and sleep, act!"

Obianuju Chinwuba, 33, Co-founder UOC Foods

Résumé: Obianuju is the CEO Hongel Ltd, a customer based company that specilaizes in wellness and beauty product distribution. She is also the co-founder of UOC Foods Nig, a food supply chain, catering to the stomachs of so many busy individuals. With her experience in health and food, and also thanks to her husband who's a medical doctor she facilitates seminars on healthy living.

Path to the Top: Like many other graduates, Obianuju set out to get a job, but while she worked full time she started a small business that she managed only on weekends. However, with a burning desire to manage her time given that she's married with two kids, and to discontinue building other peoples dream she decided to resign from her job in 2011 and according to her she took a 'daring step' and launched out Hongel, her health and wellness business which is something she desired so much. She stated that being in the business environment and acquiring knowledge and skill helped in setting up her business. With the rate of economic growth, and people getting busier and busier by the day finding less time to shop or cook, Obianuju saw the need to create benefit and so decided to diversify in 2012 when she co-founded UOC Food, starting out with hygienically packed groceries, then progressed to making home cooked meal services.

Recommendation: "There are many challenges on the way but i don't let them deter me. Sometimes even a 'NO' from a client spurs more interest in me."

Lydia Lubo, 26, CEO Cakeville

Résumé: This ambitious young lady manages her cake making business and is fast becoming a brand. She bakes exquisite cakes of all types, and very creative. This experience has accorded her the opportunity to participate and win cash prizes in various cake baking competitions.

Path to the Top: First it started with the desire to just make some money and she attended a catering school, but as she trained she realised she developed a strong love for making cake and became very passionate about it. After completing a six months course in cake making together with loads of inspiration from Buddy Paulo of Paulos she set out to establish Cakeville in 2010. According to her its been a wonderful experience watching cakeville grow irrespective of the challenges she dealt with.

Recommendation: "The number 1 secret to making your business grow is 'PASSION'. You have to love what you do and be dedicated time wise and financially."

Proffering Solutions

There are hands on brides with natural ability to create their dream wedding but wants help with details along the way, there are also brides without any natural ability and who cant afford a planner to help create that flawless wedding. No need to fret, our DIY and Day of co-ordinating package is now available to take care of your wedding planning needs.

DIY Services includes: Vendor recommendation, Concept creation, Budgeting guidance , 2 hour planning session, Unlimited emails and phone calls, Assist in helping you make informed decisions

For DIY consult we offer a day of co-ordinating with 20% off, if interested.

Contact us on
Mobile: 234-8168554446
email:    contact@sautaver.com


Please note: DIY services is not limited to just weddings, it could be any other event.

Favourable favours

Todays type of favour

One part of a wedding that somehow people look forward to is the wedding favours.  Wedding favours for guest are made to be small tokens of appreciation for attending the wedding and they also serve as souvenirs from the wedding as well.  Most couples want to be sure that people remember their special day, so they give out favours that are meaningful as an expression of their appreciation. Its a good gesture to want to appreciate people for coming to your wedding and leaving them with something to remember you with. However, most people do not know whats behind this act of giving. Before now, i have always thought that just like the word, souvenirs are merely for remembering peoples event. 

Wedding favours are an unusual yet very common added touch to a wedding. Much like giving wedding gifts, these have been a tradition for many centuries dating back to the European aristocrats of Italy and France. They would provide their guest with a small gift which was called a bonboniere. This was a box that was made out of metal, porcelain, precious stones or crystal. As weddings were seen as a lucky blessing or a privilege, by giving out bonboniere to guests, the couple felt that they were bestowing good luck upon their guests as well. The boxes would contain five pieces of sugar candy or almonds that represented Health, Longevity, Fertility, Wealth and Happiness. As the years go by, the confectioners jumped on the distribution of almonds, dipping them in sugar and other sweet coatings turning them into a more modern and luxurious gift.The Italians traditionally gave out chocolates, whereas the French would give out candies and sugared almonds. The Spanish guests would traditionally receive a small vase with orange blossoms, and the Dutch would receive five pieces of candy that represented wedding wishes which were otherwise known as bridal sugar

Today it is still considered appropriate to send your guests home with a gift in form of wedding favours. 

These favours are presented in a number of ways, largely in a more personalised manner and sometimes coordinated with the theme of the wedding itself.  Many couples now opt towards the more modern idea of marking the occasion with small signs of the occasion, or providing not just sweets but small gifts such as personalised candles, bottle openers, coasters, wall clocks, notepads etc. Wealthy couple give out items like phones, china's, electric kettles etc. Here in Nigeria we even have two kinds of favours the couple to guests favours and the aso-ebi favours which is normally given to friends of the couple who buy their aso-ebi (which is the common outfit for the day).

Favours are not just attached to weddings alone, of course they are given out at birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions. 

But like most things in the modern day event, the idea is actually soaked in a history we have long since forgotten. So when you are picking out favours remember you are bestowing the good luck of your day on your guest. For most brides, i will say your wedding favours does not have to be like someone else's. Its not a competition, because Magogo gave out DVD's doesn't mean you have to give plasma screens ( am just saying), always do what you can. You don't have to buy the world for your guest, its the gesture that actually counts not the item. Even the little things would be appreciated too, it even makes you more unique when you do things your way and not the way people want it to be. I have organised a wedding where the favours were the traditional sugared almonds wrapped in little sash drawstring bags and it was just beautiful. 

Whatever you choose to give, know that you are wishing your guest Health, Longevity, Fertility, Wealth and Happiness.

The Guest List?

You have your date fixed, its time to start planning yay! As exciting as this can be, theres plenty of work to be done and you also have to be prepared. A major key area in wedding planning is the guest list; Yes, the guest list! And this is very important since you cant have a wedding without guests even if its just two witnesses. The guest list connects to a whole lot of other things regarding planning, like venue selection, invites, catering, seating arrangement, table setting and others. In other words its important to be sure of the amount of people expected at your ceremony for an effective planning.

One thing I have noticed in Nigeria as a professional planner is that most times clients are not all that considerate and realistic about their guest list, they usually expect everyone they know to attend their wedding, assuming that their folks will get to tell everyone they know, and of course the people that they know happens to know people too and everyone connected just tags along even when they didn't make preparations for everyone. Six-to-eight years ago weddings where not as properly organised as they are now, usually the seating arrangement in those days was theatrical which is less expensive and accommodates more guest easily but very informal and most times tacky, there were also issues of people attending weddings and being catered to poorly. This was due to having too many guest not planned for. But with the introduction of planners, weddings became more organised and formal. However, our parents still hang on to the old ways of doing things and insist on inviting everyone without considering the consequences. And also in some cases a lot of people still don't understand the importance of having a realistic guest list. 

Most clients find it burdensome when I talk about their guest list, but this is it, each guest you invite translates into nairas spent on your wedding so you have to have a list otherwise you wont be able to cater to your guest properly, and even if money is not an issue I am very sure reception locations will probably have a maximum headcount, unless you will be using an airplane hanger. Now its not just having a guest list but also having a proper arrangement to ensure that its only those on the list that gets in on the event day, otherwise you will have cases of your invited guest inviting others or the common 'Mo gbo Mo wa' (I heard and i came) and even if this could be overlooked, sometimes it gets too much and your actual invited guest may not even be catered to. Remember, you only budgeted for a particular number of guest.

Negotiating the wedding guest list can be one of the most difficult and emotional aspects of wedding planning. Sure, you want everyone you know to share in your special day. But, in most cases its impossible to invite everyone linked to the bride, the groom and both sets of parents. So you have to cut the get guest list down to meet your target. But you can follow these tips to make the guest-list-cutting process less painful.

 FIRST THINGS FIRST

Before cutting the list, you have to make one. Then consider the kind of wedding you will be having. If its an intimate family oriented affair or a big bash. Who is paying for the wedding, and the maximum headcount given your budget? What expectation do those footing the bill have about being able to dictate who is invited? Now with a list in place, check to see if you are over or under your target before you start editing using these parameters.

THE PARENT TRAP

Your family and friends do make up the major part of the list, but this can be tricky sometimes, especially when your parents wants you to invite relatives you don't even know yourself. In doing this, think of people your fiancé and your families know very well. People who have supported you and truly matter to you. Invite your nearest and dearest, relatives and friends. If you don't recognise a name on the list, its probably a name that can go. Never heard of Segun Aboki? make a case to scratch him out, even if he's one of your dads business associates. Never met great Aunty Lagbaja? you don't need to meet her on your wedding day. However, don't be recalcitrant in your decisions to cut people, if your mother really wants to invite a certain guest, hear her out. Give her a good reason why not or simply give in. Be ruthless, but be gracious. If you strike the right balance between the two, you will be able to cut your list and still make everyone happy.

THE IN-LAWS

One of the stickiest points of list negotiating is dealing with the future in-laws. Typically, the brides parents, probably expects to have more control over the guest list. But don't make the mistake of drastically limiting the number of guests on the in-laws list. After all, their child is getting married too, and they want the important people in their lives to attend. However, if they cant cut their list to the number you specify, get your husband to-be to reason with them or consider paying for the extra guest (if your reception venue has the room). But this is burdened on who's paying for the wedding.

RECIPROCITY

Just because you were invited to your former gym partners wedding doesn't mean you have to invite her to yours, especially if you too are no longer in contact. That goes for your very distant cousin Magogo, the one you've met only once. This is not payback time for wedding invitations you have received in the past.

SURPRISE

Don't invite people assuming that they wont show up, you may be in for a surprise. And don't significantly over-invite because you are depending on a certain number of regrets, you can never really anticipate how many regrets you will receive.

OFFICE POLITICS

Only invite those whom you have socialised with outside of work, you really don't need the entire department at your wedding. Invite your boss only if you have a close relationship with him/her, not to score up points.

KIDS

They just look so cute at weddings when all dressed up, don't they? But they don't need to be there if you need to make cuts. You can limit it to a certain age or just invite only your nephews and nieces. This also will depend on the time of the event.

SINGLES

Your single friends does not need to be invited to bring a date. Its okay for those who are engaged or involved in a committed relationship, they can come with their honeys but the rest of your single friends should seize the opportunity to mingle and maybe they'll end up lucky.

If you are still having trouble cutting down the list, consider these things carefully; Your realistic budget and the kind of wedding you want to have, classy or tacky? Look at your wedding guest list as the list of people who will see you get married and hang in there with you forever more. And don't worry, your long lost third cousin twice removed from the list wont even know she missed your wedding.

Whats with the white dress?

Most young girls fantasise about their wedding day even before they come of age, the perfect man, the perfect white dress, the perfect wedding. Now girls emphasis mostly on their looks and of course the dreamy young bride is not an exception. She imagines how she'll look, wearing that beautiful white ball dress. This imagination did not just drop on her mind, it has been influenced over time by what she sees and have come to know about wedding dresses. And this white dress has become a tradition that lingers on, most girls feel the perfect wedding dress is that white ball dress. Just like this beautiful white wedding dress by Vera Wang.

White wedding dress by Vera Wang

Out of curiosity I started to think if brides over the years have always worn the white dress, especially seeing how the trend is evolving, wedding dresses on the runway is now more colourful, exotic and creative. My thoughts led to these findings.

In the eighteen century, medieval and renaissance weddings were usually more about political alliances and transfers of wealth than they were about romance, and so the wedding dress was a way to show the wealth and culture of brides. Textiles were an important means to display wealth and the more elaborate the weave of the fabric, the richer the fibres used, the rarer the colour, the better the demonstration of wealth. Poor people in Pre-industrial Europe and later working class people in Industrialised Europe and America often found it difficult if not impossible to buy special clothes for their wedding. But for those who can afford it weddings were expensive and elaborate.

Before the invention of effective bleaching techniques, white was a valued colour, it was both difficult to achieve and hard to maintain. Wealthy brides then often wore white to show their wealth not their purity, as opposed to what it is now. As a matter of fact in those days blue signified purity and not white. Brides wore the colour of their choice it could be red, green, yellow, gold, black or any other colour and they all symbolised something. See some examples.

                  

The marriage of Queen Victoria in 1840 has had more influence on weddings than any other. Queen Victoria put the wheels in motion by marrying in a white dress. She was already a queen and she needed to make a statement by choosing the dress that put her duty to her kingdom on display rather than her wealth or beauty. Nevertheless, she stood out in that white dress and made it popular 

Queen Victoria's Wedding dress

By the late nineteen century wedding dresses became more demure and increasingly white. However, it was still considered as their best dress.
During the 1920's as wedding gowns became shorter and a mass consumer culture emerged, brides of all classes began to wear white dresses specially created for their wedding. In the years that followed, the depression and war led many women to revert to the practical and inexpensive custom of wearing a good dress on their wedding day.
After World War II, prosperity and a desire to return to normalcy created a boom in weddings and elaborate dresses once worn became a central part of this ritual. The bridal dress was made in a way that it was unique and distinctive and could be worn just once.
One more royal wedding that made the white wedding gown reign supreme, is the marriage of Lady Diana to Prince Charles in July 1981. It was a fairytale wedding, widely publicised. The world saw that wedding, and just about every woman wanted that kind of fairytale wedding. Even if they cant do a wedding that big at least they can wear a big white wedding dress that will give them their princess moment. 

Princess Diana and Prince Charles Wedding

Since then wedding dresses has evolved. The traditional white ball dress became a lot more simpler in style and brides became more open to other options, the focus is now on the individuality of the bride. Instead of wearing the traditional white dress they could prefer colours in different forms and patterns. It could be a short dress, A-line dress, the pencil dress the list is endless. Now that we know a bit more behind the tradition of white wedding dress, picking a wedding dress of colour should not be such a big deal anymore. Brides can be different and unique by adding some flavour to their wedding. Designers are making beautiful colourful wedding dresses now, Red is so hot on the runway this year its fast becoming the next wedding dress colour. However, there is a wide range of colours and patterns to choose from.




  




The traditional white wedding dress has made the white wedding very popular and is here to stay but whichever the colour or pattern you choose for your wedding, the most important thing is your marriage. Am planning a wedding next month where my bride will be wearing a red dress, and i just cant wait to see her in it. Cheers.






Wikipedia; Timeless interiors and antiques

Do Not Do This To Yourself!!

Weddings are very special occasions where basically the attention is focused on the couple, most especially the bride and the last thing any bride will do to herself on their special day is to be uncomfortable with themselves, as a matter of fact brides are meant to be as comfortable as possible. Brides should learn to wear cloths that suit their body types, wear comfortable shoes, less dramatic make-up, the list is unending. I realised that brides want to impress on their special day, look their very best and feel on top of the world but sometimes they go to extremes to achieve this. No matter what you want to achieve, do no do these things to yourself.

1, Revealing dress; Wear a dress that will enhance your body type and not make you look like a tramp. As a bride you want to look sexy, glamorous and exquisite but decent so wear dresses that don't reveal too much. If you are plus size then tone it down a little wear what fits otherwise you'll spend your day adjusting here and there.

2, The wrong type of shoes; Choose the perfect wedding shoes for your big day,when choosing your shoes consider what the terrain is like. If there will be cobble stone, sand or gravel then you cant count on your designer heels, you can wear pretty stylish flats or formal wedge and you'll make it through without sinking, getting stuck or ruining your shoes. Also your shoe comfort level will determine a lot, stick with a heel height you are used to and comfortable with. However mostly consider low heel shoes.

                      

3, The wedding dress myth; Who says you have to wear the traditional ball dress or white dress, if its not what you will be comfortable with then you don't have to wear them and discomfort yourself even if the popular saying goes like 'its just a one day event' remember it should be one of your happiest days. There are a variety of simple yet stylish wedding dresses that you can choose from even in different colours.

4, Bride of Frankeinstien;  Avoid wearing heavy make-up, it will do more good than harm. You don't want your mascara running everywhere when a sudden tear drops, you also don't want your face looking like a-yet-to-finish clay pot after all the dancing and merry making. Finally you don't want to look like someone else when you wear the heavy make-up, so be mindful of how you wear your make-up and who wears your make-up. On your special day your make-up should make you look even more beautiful  and elegant.

5, Bridezilla; Don't be that spoiled girl who's behaviour becomes outrageously bad in the course of planning for your wedding. What you do through out your wedding planning process will determine the outcome of your wedding. Don't terrorise your family, bridal party and your wedding planner, don't make greedy demands and break all rules of etiquette, to insure that you are the single most important person on the planet from the time you are engaged to the time you are married otherwise on your wedding day you'd see gloomy faces all about and certain things not going right, and what about the most important aspect which is the marriage how would that work out for you after terrorising everyone. You already will be the most important person on your day but don't let it overwhelm you, so put certain things into perspective, be calm, have someone to always talk to if you must, stay focused and don't allow the idea of getting married run you over.