Proffering Solutions

There are hands on brides with natural ability to create their dream wedding but wants help with details along the way, there are also brides without any natural ability and who cant afford a planner to help create that flawless wedding. No need to fret, our DIY and Day of co-ordinating package is now available to take care of your wedding planning needs.

DIY Services includes: Vendor recommendation, Concept creation, Budgeting guidance , 2 hour planning session, Unlimited emails and phone calls, Assist in helping you make informed decisions

For DIY consult we offer a day of co-ordinating with 20% off, if interested.

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Please note: DIY services is not limited to just weddings, it could be any other event.

Favourable favours

Todays type of favour

One part of a wedding that somehow people look forward to is the wedding favours.  Wedding favours for guest are made to be small tokens of appreciation for attending the wedding and they also serve as souvenirs from the wedding as well.  Most couples want to be sure that people remember their special day, so they give out favours that are meaningful as an expression of their appreciation. Its a good gesture to want to appreciate people for coming to your wedding and leaving them with something to remember you with. However, most people do not know whats behind this act of giving. Before now, i have always thought that just like the word, souvenirs are merely for remembering peoples event. 

Wedding favours are an unusual yet very common added touch to a wedding. Much like giving wedding gifts, these have been a tradition for many centuries dating back to the European aristocrats of Italy and France. They would provide their guest with a small gift which was called a bonboniere. This was a box that was made out of metal, porcelain, precious stones or crystal. As weddings were seen as a lucky blessing or a privilege, by giving out bonboniere to guests, the couple felt that they were bestowing good luck upon their guests as well. The boxes would contain five pieces of sugar candy or almonds that represented Health, Longevity, Fertility, Wealth and Happiness. As the years go by, the confectioners jumped on the distribution of almonds, dipping them in sugar and other sweet coatings turning them into a more modern and luxurious gift.The Italians traditionally gave out chocolates, whereas the French would give out candies and sugared almonds. The Spanish guests would traditionally receive a small vase with orange blossoms, and the Dutch would receive five pieces of candy that represented wedding wishes which were otherwise known as bridal sugar

Today it is still considered appropriate to send your guests home with a gift in form of wedding favours. 

These favours are presented in a number of ways, largely in a more personalised manner and sometimes coordinated with the theme of the wedding itself.  Many couples now opt towards the more modern idea of marking the occasion with small signs of the occasion, or providing not just sweets but small gifts such as personalised candles, bottle openers, coasters, wall clocks, notepads etc. Wealthy couple give out items like phones, china's, electric kettles etc. Here in Nigeria we even have two kinds of favours the couple to guests favours and the aso-ebi favours which is normally given to friends of the couple who buy their aso-ebi (which is the common outfit for the day).

Favours are not just attached to weddings alone, of course they are given out at birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions. 

But like most things in the modern day event, the idea is actually soaked in a history we have long since forgotten. So when you are picking out favours remember you are bestowing the good luck of your day on your guest. For most brides, i will say your wedding favours does not have to be like someone else's. Its not a competition, because Magogo gave out DVD's doesn't mean you have to give plasma screens ( am just saying), always do what you can. You don't have to buy the world for your guest, its the gesture that actually counts not the item. Even the little things would be appreciated too, it even makes you more unique when you do things your way and not the way people want it to be. I have organised a wedding where the favours were the traditional sugared almonds wrapped in little sash drawstring bags and it was just beautiful. 

Whatever you choose to give, know that you are wishing your guest Health, Longevity, Fertility, Wealth and Happiness.

The Guest List?

You have your date fixed, its time to start planning yay! As exciting as this can be, theres plenty of work to be done and you also have to be prepared. A major key area in wedding planning is the guest list; Yes, the guest list! And this is very important since you cant have a wedding without guests even if its just two witnesses. The guest list connects to a whole lot of other things regarding planning, like venue selection, invites, catering, seating arrangement, table setting and others. In other words its important to be sure of the amount of people expected at your ceremony for an effective planning.

One thing I have noticed in Nigeria as a professional planner is that most times clients are not all that considerate and realistic about their guest list, they usually expect everyone they know to attend their wedding, assuming that their folks will get to tell everyone they know, and of course the people that they know happens to know people too and everyone connected just tags along even when they didn't make preparations for everyone. Six-to-eight years ago weddings where not as properly organised as they are now, usually the seating arrangement in those days was theatrical which is less expensive and accommodates more guest easily but very informal and most times tacky, there were also issues of people attending weddings and being catered to poorly. This was due to having too many guest not planned for. But with the introduction of planners, weddings became more organised and formal. However, our parents still hang on to the old ways of doing things and insist on inviting everyone without considering the consequences. And also in some cases a lot of people still don't understand the importance of having a realistic guest list. 

Most clients find it burdensome when I talk about their guest list, but this is it, each guest you invite translates into nairas spent on your wedding so you have to have a list otherwise you wont be able to cater to your guest properly, and even if money is not an issue I am very sure reception locations will probably have a maximum headcount, unless you will be using an airplane hanger. Now its not just having a guest list but also having a proper arrangement to ensure that its only those on the list that gets in on the event day, otherwise you will have cases of your invited guest inviting others or the common 'Mo gbo Mo wa' (I heard and i came) and even if this could be overlooked, sometimes it gets too much and your actual invited guest may not even be catered to. Remember, you only budgeted for a particular number of guest.

Negotiating the wedding guest list can be one of the most difficult and emotional aspects of wedding planning. Sure, you want everyone you know to share in your special day. But, in most cases its impossible to invite everyone linked to the bride, the groom and both sets of parents. So you have to cut the get guest list down to meet your target. But you can follow these tips to make the guest-list-cutting process less painful.

 FIRST THINGS FIRST

Before cutting the list, you have to make one. Then consider the kind of wedding you will be having. If its an intimate family oriented affair or a big bash. Who is paying for the wedding, and the maximum headcount given your budget? What expectation do those footing the bill have about being able to dictate who is invited? Now with a list in place, check to see if you are over or under your target before you start editing using these parameters.

THE PARENT TRAP

Your family and friends do make up the major part of the list, but this can be tricky sometimes, especially when your parents wants you to invite relatives you don't even know yourself. In doing this, think of people your fiancé and your families know very well. People who have supported you and truly matter to you. Invite your nearest and dearest, relatives and friends. If you don't recognise a name on the list, its probably a name that can go. Never heard of Segun Aboki? make a case to scratch him out, even if he's one of your dads business associates. Never met great Aunty Lagbaja? you don't need to meet her on your wedding day. However, don't be recalcitrant in your decisions to cut people, if your mother really wants to invite a certain guest, hear her out. Give her a good reason why not or simply give in. Be ruthless, but be gracious. If you strike the right balance between the two, you will be able to cut your list and still make everyone happy.

THE IN-LAWS

One of the stickiest points of list negotiating is dealing with the future in-laws. Typically, the brides parents, probably expects to have more control over the guest list. But don't make the mistake of drastically limiting the number of guests on the in-laws list. After all, their child is getting married too, and they want the important people in their lives to attend. However, if they cant cut their list to the number you specify, get your husband to-be to reason with them or consider paying for the extra guest (if your reception venue has the room). But this is burdened on who's paying for the wedding.

RECIPROCITY

Just because you were invited to your former gym partners wedding doesn't mean you have to invite her to yours, especially if you too are no longer in contact. That goes for your very distant cousin Magogo, the one you've met only once. This is not payback time for wedding invitations you have received in the past.

SURPRISE

Don't invite people assuming that they wont show up, you may be in for a surprise. And don't significantly over-invite because you are depending on a certain number of regrets, you can never really anticipate how many regrets you will receive.

OFFICE POLITICS

Only invite those whom you have socialised with outside of work, you really don't need the entire department at your wedding. Invite your boss only if you have a close relationship with him/her, not to score up points.

KIDS

They just look so cute at weddings when all dressed up, don't they? But they don't need to be there if you need to make cuts. You can limit it to a certain age or just invite only your nephews and nieces. This also will depend on the time of the event.

SINGLES

Your single friends does not need to be invited to bring a date. Its okay for those who are engaged or involved in a committed relationship, they can come with their honeys but the rest of your single friends should seize the opportunity to mingle and maybe they'll end up lucky.

If you are still having trouble cutting down the list, consider these things carefully; Your realistic budget and the kind of wedding you want to have, classy or tacky? Look at your wedding guest list as the list of people who will see you get married and hang in there with you forever more. And don't worry, your long lost third cousin twice removed from the list wont even know she missed your wedding.

Whats with the white dress?

Most young girls fantasise about their wedding day even before they come of age, the perfect man, the perfect white dress, the perfect wedding. Now girls emphasis mostly on their looks and of course the dreamy young bride is not an exception. She imagines how she'll look, wearing that beautiful white ball dress. This imagination did not just drop on her mind, it has been influenced over time by what she sees and have come to know about wedding dresses. And this white dress has become a tradition that lingers on, most girls feel the perfect wedding dress is that white ball dress. Just like this beautiful white wedding dress by Vera Wang.

White wedding dress by Vera Wang

Out of curiosity I started to think if brides over the years have always worn the white dress, especially seeing how the trend is evolving, wedding dresses on the runway is now more colourful, exotic and creative. My thoughts led to these findings.

In the eighteen century, medieval and renaissance weddings were usually more about political alliances and transfers of wealth than they were about romance, and so the wedding dress was a way to show the wealth and culture of brides. Textiles were an important means to display wealth and the more elaborate the weave of the fabric, the richer the fibres used, the rarer the colour, the better the demonstration of wealth. Poor people in Pre-industrial Europe and later working class people in Industrialised Europe and America often found it difficult if not impossible to buy special clothes for their wedding. But for those who can afford it weddings were expensive and elaborate.

Before the invention of effective bleaching techniques, white was a valued colour, it was both difficult to achieve and hard to maintain. Wealthy brides then often wore white to show their wealth not their purity, as opposed to what it is now. As a matter of fact in those days blue signified purity and not white. Brides wore the colour of their choice it could be red, green, yellow, gold, black or any other colour and they all symbolised something. See some examples.

                  

The marriage of Queen Victoria in 1840 has had more influence on weddings than any other. Queen Victoria put the wheels in motion by marrying in a white dress. She was already a queen and she needed to make a statement by choosing the dress that put her duty to her kingdom on display rather than her wealth or beauty. Nevertheless, she stood out in that white dress and made it popular 

Queen Victoria's Wedding dress

By the late nineteen century wedding dresses became more demure and increasingly white. However, it was still considered as their best dress.
During the 1920's as wedding gowns became shorter and a mass consumer culture emerged, brides of all classes began to wear white dresses specially created for their wedding. In the years that followed, the depression and war led many women to revert to the practical and inexpensive custom of wearing a good dress on their wedding day.
After World War II, prosperity and a desire to return to normalcy created a boom in weddings and elaborate dresses once worn became a central part of this ritual. The bridal dress was made in a way that it was unique and distinctive and could be worn just once.
One more royal wedding that made the white wedding gown reign supreme, is the marriage of Lady Diana to Prince Charles in July 1981. It was a fairytale wedding, widely publicised. The world saw that wedding, and just about every woman wanted that kind of fairytale wedding. Even if they cant do a wedding that big at least they can wear a big white wedding dress that will give them their princess moment. 

Princess Diana and Prince Charles Wedding

Since then wedding dresses has evolved. The traditional white ball dress became a lot more simpler in style and brides became more open to other options, the focus is now on the individuality of the bride. Instead of wearing the traditional white dress they could prefer colours in different forms and patterns. It could be a short dress, A-line dress, the pencil dress the list is endless. Now that we know a bit more behind the tradition of white wedding dress, picking a wedding dress of colour should not be such a big deal anymore. Brides can be different and unique by adding some flavour to their wedding. Designers are making beautiful colourful wedding dresses now, Red is so hot on the runway this year its fast becoming the next wedding dress colour. However, there is a wide range of colours and patterns to choose from.




  




The traditional white wedding dress has made the white wedding very popular and is here to stay but whichever the colour or pattern you choose for your wedding, the most important thing is your marriage. Am planning a wedding next month where my bride will be wearing a red dress, and i just cant wait to see her in it. Cheers.






Wikipedia; Timeless interiors and antiques

Do Not Do This To Yourself!!

Weddings are very special occasions where basically the attention is focused on the couple, most especially the bride and the last thing any bride will do to herself on their special day is to be uncomfortable with themselves, as a matter of fact brides are meant to be as comfortable as possible. Brides should learn to wear cloths that suit their body types, wear comfortable shoes, less dramatic make-up, the list is unending. I realised that brides want to impress on their special day, look their very best and feel on top of the world but sometimes they go to extremes to achieve this. No matter what you want to achieve, do no do these things to yourself.

1, Revealing dress; Wear a dress that will enhance your body type and not make you look like a tramp. As a bride you want to look sexy, glamorous and exquisite but decent so wear dresses that don't reveal too much. If you are plus size then tone it down a little wear what fits otherwise you'll spend your day adjusting here and there.

2, The wrong type of shoes; Choose the perfect wedding shoes for your big day,when choosing your shoes consider what the terrain is like. If there will be cobble stone, sand or gravel then you cant count on your designer heels, you can wear pretty stylish flats or formal wedge and you'll make it through without sinking, getting stuck or ruining your shoes. Also your shoe comfort level will determine a lot, stick with a heel height you are used to and comfortable with. However mostly consider low heel shoes.

                      

3, The wedding dress myth; Who says you have to wear the traditional ball dress or white dress, if its not what you will be comfortable with then you don't have to wear them and discomfort yourself even if the popular saying goes like 'its just a one day event' remember it should be one of your happiest days. There are a variety of simple yet stylish wedding dresses that you can choose from even in different colours.

4, Bride of Frankeinstien;  Avoid wearing heavy make-up, it will do more good than harm. You don't want your mascara running everywhere when a sudden tear drops, you also don't want your face looking like a-yet-to-finish clay pot after all the dancing and merry making. Finally you don't want to look like someone else when you wear the heavy make-up, so be mindful of how you wear your make-up and who wears your make-up. On your special day your make-up should make you look even more beautiful  and elegant.

5, Bridezilla; Don't be that spoiled girl who's behaviour becomes outrageously bad in the course of planning for your wedding. What you do through out your wedding planning process will determine the outcome of your wedding. Don't terrorise your family, bridal party and your wedding planner, don't make greedy demands and break all rules of etiquette, to insure that you are the single most important person on the planet from the time you are engaged to the time you are married otherwise on your wedding day you'd see gloomy faces all about and certain things not going right, and what about the most important aspect which is the marriage how would that work out for you after terrorising everyone. You already will be the most important person on your day but don't let it overwhelm you, so put certain things into perspective, be calm, have someone to always talk to if you must, stay focused and don't allow the idea of getting married run you over.

One Man Business in Nigeria, Modern day slavery

Its actually a dream come true to be able to run your own business especially if its something you have always wanted to do and even a better dream when you have the right team helping you grow that business. But then again is running the business only about making money or creating a need that fufills purpose? I dont believe that the size of the business has to determine the systems and structure that ought to be in place. Every entrepreneur should be able to establish these things before they become bigger, otherwise its very possible you will grow a big enterprise without solid structures in place.

Nigeria is a country that runs a system that encourages entrepreneurship so their are lots of fast growing one man businesses out there. But the way business owners run their business here is mind breaking. Most of the time the employer thinks he's doing you a favour, well because there are no jobs out there they think, so they take it upon themselves to treat you in anyway that pleases them. They usually wont pay you well(i can even overlook this),but then they will work you like a slave and still expect you to sacrifice your entire life for them, they will mandate you to close late and think its alright, they will speak to you sometimes in the most disrespectful manner ever, you can never have an opinion when they speak, you can never confront them when an idea or policy seem out of place, you are basically a human robot. This makes me wonder, in the first place when you render a service to someone who needs it you get paid for it, it doesnt come for free thats why i dont get why they seem to think they are doing you a favour, when they asked for your service you said you'd be able to render so i mean you get paid for working its not charity. I just pray that this people learn that the key factor in any growing organization is the people, if you dont have the right staff you are cooked, if you dont take care of your staff even when you have the right staff you are fried so any which way you want to look at it its important to understand that your people is actually what counts.

I know there are situations where you can actually hire a no good staff who is a complete waste of space but then again it still doesnt give the employer any right to be mean, if they dont fit in then let them go. Everyone must not love their jobs and its not compulsory to be excited about going to work everyday but in an organization if even 50% is unhappy then something is very very wrong.

I just think business owners should reconsider the way they treat their staff, they should go through the process, build systems and structures that work, train themselves in the area of people management, truth is  you might have a great idea and know how to shoot your business but be very terrible managing people, if you are like that employ someone who's capable of managing your people and dont get in their business.

If a business is growing even the employees should benefit from it, because you are the owner doesnt mean  you get to have it all to yourself. Its a shame if you are a business owner driving a very expensive car, wearing very expensive cloths and living in a very posh apartment and environment and your employee cant even afford to eat well. Sometimes its not about how much wages you pay but also those lil things that comes with a pat on the back.

Maybe am walking in the clouds but i just think its only fair to treat people well, and the owners of business should get off their high horses and learn the ropes of managing people. If you treat a janitor like he's just a nobody and rubs in it he's face, truth is he's just going to keep showing you filth. You can never get the best from people if you dont treat them well. Am not saying pamper them and spoil them but in all fairness i think its wrong to over impose on people just because you pay them.

Oh no!! Dana!!!!

Sunday the 3rd of June is a day i will never forget in a hurry. If I said i was not touched by the Dana Air disaster i will be a very big liar. It was very devastating to say the least. But Nigerians as usual will say its up to God, yet i sit still and wonder if all those people where actually meant to die that way. This is a situation that would have been averted but once again this is Nigeria a place where so many things is taken for granted where people expect God to come down and do all their work.

Last month i flew Dana Air from Abuja to Lagos and i must say it was a horrific experience for me and even my friends, the aircraft was leaking water while on air and gosh! before we landed it was so scary the  aircraft was seriously shaking and making thunderous noise that i thought that was the end of all of us but thanks to God we landed safely and i told myself i will never board a Dana flight ever in my life.

And on sunday the 3rd of June in the afternoon i received this broadcast on my bbm saying a Dana plane just crashed, i was not surprised but felt deep pity and sympathy for those affected. 150 passengers all died plus some people whom the plane crashed into, injured people and people who's houses and properties turned into debris it was an incredible accident, once again lives and properties lost and destroyed.

Like i stated earlier that this crash could have been averted if and if all checks and balances was made, an aircraft is not one to be managed, it should be properly maintained and seriously if its not fit then it should be grounded. I figure the Dana management knew the aircraft was not sound enough but yet kept on because of a few millions they want to make now where did the millions take them??? ground zero they succeeded in causing so much havoc. The weather was not bad for it to have caused the havoc even the CCN weather forecast pointed it out, it was clearly a bad aircraft.

So many people lost their lives, young and promising even the old and yet aspiring, so many dreams and talents lost, hopes gone down, some family lineage wiped out completely, this is absolute calamity. I lost a  dear friend Ikpoki Obiola, he was someone i was getting to know , someone with so much dreams, did he know he was going to die that day? nah! nothing in the world prepared him for the tragedy he faced and all the others. I was so pained i only wished i could turn back the hands of time or own a time machine that could go back in time and alter certain events. I cant even begin to imagine what he's family and other close friends would have to go through because of he's demise and not just that he died its the way he died, gross!! And the same goes for every one who died that faithful day in the crash.

I only hope that the Nigerian Govt will do something about the way things are being managed, I hope that the Dana management will be brought to book and the rescue operations in Nigeria should wake up, it took 20 minutes before the plane exploded, am thinking would it not have been possible for some people to have been rescued or some precautionary measures taken so the explosion wont be that severe?

Sad sad sad tale indeed, my heart still bleeds, i wish i can bring back my friend Obiola, i wish i can bring back Pastor Akin (House on The Rock Abuja), Mr Levi Ajuonima, Ehime Aikhomu, and so many others who lost their lives that faithful day. Above all my deepest sympathy goes to the families of the deceased, may the Lord grant them the fortitude to bear their loss.