The Guest List?

You have your date fixed, its time to start planning yay! As exciting as this can be, theres plenty of work to be done and you also have to be prepared. A major key area in wedding planning is the guest list; Yes, the guest list! And this is very important since you cant have a wedding without guests even if its just two witnesses. The guest list connects to a whole lot of other things regarding planning, like venue selection, invites, catering, seating arrangement, table setting and others. In other words its important to be sure of the amount of people expected at your ceremony for an effective planning.

One thing I have noticed in Nigeria as a professional planner is that most times clients are not all that considerate and realistic about their guest list, they usually expect everyone they know to attend their wedding, assuming that their folks will get to tell everyone they know, and of course the people that they know happens to know people too and everyone connected just tags along even when they didn't make preparations for everyone. Six-to-eight years ago weddings where not as properly organised as they are now, usually the seating arrangement in those days was theatrical which is less expensive and accommodates more guest easily but very informal and most times tacky, there were also issues of people attending weddings and being catered to poorly. This was due to having too many guest not planned for. But with the introduction of planners, weddings became more organised and formal. However, our parents still hang on to the old ways of doing things and insist on inviting everyone without considering the consequences. And also in some cases a lot of people still don't understand the importance of having a realistic guest list. 

Most clients find it burdensome when I talk about their guest list, but this is it, each guest you invite translates into nairas spent on your wedding so you have to have a list otherwise you wont be able to cater to your guest properly, and even if money is not an issue I am very sure reception locations will probably have a maximum headcount, unless you will be using an airplane hanger. Now its not just having a guest list but also having a proper arrangement to ensure that its only those on the list that gets in on the event day, otherwise you will have cases of your invited guest inviting others or the common 'Mo gbo Mo wa' (I heard and i came) and even if this could be overlooked, sometimes it gets too much and your actual invited guest may not even be catered to. Remember, you only budgeted for a particular number of guest.

Negotiating the wedding guest list can be one of the most difficult and emotional aspects of wedding planning. Sure, you want everyone you know to share in your special day. But, in most cases its impossible to invite everyone linked to the bride, the groom and both sets of parents. So you have to cut the get guest list down to meet your target. But you can follow these tips to make the guest-list-cutting process less painful.

 FIRST THINGS FIRST

Before cutting the list, you have to make one. Then consider the kind of wedding you will be having. If its an intimate family oriented affair or a big bash. Who is paying for the wedding, and the maximum headcount given your budget? What expectation do those footing the bill have about being able to dictate who is invited? Now with a list in place, check to see if you are over or under your target before you start editing using these parameters.

THE PARENT TRAP

Your family and friends do make up the major part of the list, but this can be tricky sometimes, especially when your parents wants you to invite relatives you don't even know yourself. In doing this, think of people your fiancé and your families know very well. People who have supported you and truly matter to you. Invite your nearest and dearest, relatives and friends. If you don't recognise a name on the list, its probably a name that can go. Never heard of Segun Aboki? make a case to scratch him out, even if he's one of your dads business associates. Never met great Aunty Lagbaja? you don't need to meet her on your wedding day. However, don't be recalcitrant in your decisions to cut people, if your mother really wants to invite a certain guest, hear her out. Give her a good reason why not or simply give in. Be ruthless, but be gracious. If you strike the right balance between the two, you will be able to cut your list and still make everyone happy.

THE IN-LAWS

One of the stickiest points of list negotiating is dealing with the future in-laws. Typically, the brides parents, probably expects to have more control over the guest list. But don't make the mistake of drastically limiting the number of guests on the in-laws list. After all, their child is getting married too, and they want the important people in their lives to attend. However, if they cant cut their list to the number you specify, get your husband to-be to reason with them or consider paying for the extra guest (if your reception venue has the room). But this is burdened on who's paying for the wedding.

RECIPROCITY

Just because you were invited to your former gym partners wedding doesn't mean you have to invite her to yours, especially if you too are no longer in contact. That goes for your very distant cousin Magogo, the one you've met only once. This is not payback time for wedding invitations you have received in the past.

SURPRISE

Don't invite people assuming that they wont show up, you may be in for a surprise. And don't significantly over-invite because you are depending on a certain number of regrets, you can never really anticipate how many regrets you will receive.

OFFICE POLITICS

Only invite those whom you have socialised with outside of work, you really don't need the entire department at your wedding. Invite your boss only if you have a close relationship with him/her, not to score up points.

KIDS

They just look so cute at weddings when all dressed up, don't they? But they don't need to be there if you need to make cuts. You can limit it to a certain age or just invite only your nephews and nieces. This also will depend on the time of the event.

SINGLES

Your single friends does not need to be invited to bring a date. Its okay for those who are engaged or involved in a committed relationship, they can come with their honeys but the rest of your single friends should seize the opportunity to mingle and maybe they'll end up lucky.

If you are still having trouble cutting down the list, consider these things carefully; Your realistic budget and the kind of wedding you want to have, classy or tacky? Look at your wedding guest list as the list of people who will see you get married and hang in there with you forever more. And don't worry, your long lost third cousin twice removed from the list wont even know she missed your wedding.

Whats with the white dress?

Most young girls fantasise about their wedding day even before they come of age, the perfect man, the perfect white dress, the perfect wedding. Now girls emphasis mostly on their looks and of course the dreamy young bride is not an exception. She imagines how she'll look, wearing that beautiful white ball dress. This imagination did not just drop on her mind, it has been influenced over time by what she sees and have come to know about wedding dresses. And this white dress has become a tradition that lingers on, most girls feel the perfect wedding dress is that white ball dress. Just like this beautiful white wedding dress by Vera Wang.

White wedding dress by Vera Wang

Out of curiosity I started to think if brides over the years have always worn the white dress, especially seeing how the trend is evolving, wedding dresses on the runway is now more colourful, exotic and creative. My thoughts led to these findings.

In the eighteen century, medieval and renaissance weddings were usually more about political alliances and transfers of wealth than they were about romance, and so the wedding dress was a way to show the wealth and culture of brides. Textiles were an important means to display wealth and the more elaborate the weave of the fabric, the richer the fibres used, the rarer the colour, the better the demonstration of wealth. Poor people in Pre-industrial Europe and later working class people in Industrialised Europe and America often found it difficult if not impossible to buy special clothes for their wedding. But for those who can afford it weddings were expensive and elaborate.

Before the invention of effective bleaching techniques, white was a valued colour, it was both difficult to achieve and hard to maintain. Wealthy brides then often wore white to show their wealth not their purity, as opposed to what it is now. As a matter of fact in those days blue signified purity and not white. Brides wore the colour of their choice it could be red, green, yellow, gold, black or any other colour and they all symbolised something. See some examples.

                  

The marriage of Queen Victoria in 1840 has had more influence on weddings than any other. Queen Victoria put the wheels in motion by marrying in a white dress. She was already a queen and she needed to make a statement by choosing the dress that put her duty to her kingdom on display rather than her wealth or beauty. Nevertheless, she stood out in that white dress and made it popular 

Queen Victoria's Wedding dress

By the late nineteen century wedding dresses became more demure and increasingly white. However, it was still considered as their best dress.
During the 1920's as wedding gowns became shorter and a mass consumer culture emerged, brides of all classes began to wear white dresses specially created for their wedding. In the years that followed, the depression and war led many women to revert to the practical and inexpensive custom of wearing a good dress on their wedding day.
After World War II, prosperity and a desire to return to normalcy created a boom in weddings and elaborate dresses once worn became a central part of this ritual. The bridal dress was made in a way that it was unique and distinctive and could be worn just once.
One more royal wedding that made the white wedding gown reign supreme, is the marriage of Lady Diana to Prince Charles in July 1981. It was a fairytale wedding, widely publicised. The world saw that wedding, and just about every woman wanted that kind of fairytale wedding. Even if they cant do a wedding that big at least they can wear a big white wedding dress that will give them their princess moment. 

Princess Diana and Prince Charles Wedding

Since then wedding dresses has evolved. The traditional white ball dress became a lot more simpler in style and brides became more open to other options, the focus is now on the individuality of the bride. Instead of wearing the traditional white dress they could prefer colours in different forms and patterns. It could be a short dress, A-line dress, the pencil dress the list is endless. Now that we know a bit more behind the tradition of white wedding dress, picking a wedding dress of colour should not be such a big deal anymore. Brides can be different and unique by adding some flavour to their wedding. Designers are making beautiful colourful wedding dresses now, Red is so hot on the runway this year its fast becoming the next wedding dress colour. However, there is a wide range of colours and patterns to choose from.




  




The traditional white wedding dress has made the white wedding very popular and is here to stay but whichever the colour or pattern you choose for your wedding, the most important thing is your marriage. Am planning a wedding next month where my bride will be wearing a red dress, and i just cant wait to see her in it. Cheers.






Wikipedia; Timeless interiors and antiques

Do Not Do This To Yourself!!

Weddings are very special occasions where basically the attention is focused on the couple, most especially the bride and the last thing any bride will do to herself on their special day is to be uncomfortable with themselves, as a matter of fact brides are meant to be as comfortable as possible. Brides should learn to wear cloths that suit their body types, wear comfortable shoes, less dramatic make-up, the list is unending. I realised that brides want to impress on their special day, look their very best and feel on top of the world but sometimes they go to extremes to achieve this. No matter what you want to achieve, do no do these things to yourself.

1, Revealing dress; Wear a dress that will enhance your body type and not make you look like a tramp. As a bride you want to look sexy, glamorous and exquisite but decent so wear dresses that don't reveal too much. If you are plus size then tone it down a little wear what fits otherwise you'll spend your day adjusting here and there.

2, The wrong type of shoes; Choose the perfect wedding shoes for your big day,when choosing your shoes consider what the terrain is like. If there will be cobble stone, sand or gravel then you cant count on your designer heels, you can wear pretty stylish flats or formal wedge and you'll make it through without sinking, getting stuck or ruining your shoes. Also your shoe comfort level will determine a lot, stick with a heel height you are used to and comfortable with. However mostly consider low heel shoes.

                      

3, The wedding dress myth; Who says you have to wear the traditional ball dress or white dress, if its not what you will be comfortable with then you don't have to wear them and discomfort yourself even if the popular saying goes like 'its just a one day event' remember it should be one of your happiest days. There are a variety of simple yet stylish wedding dresses that you can choose from even in different colours.

4, Bride of Frankeinstien;  Avoid wearing heavy make-up, it will do more good than harm. You don't want your mascara running everywhere when a sudden tear drops, you also don't want your face looking like a-yet-to-finish clay pot after all the dancing and merry making. Finally you don't want to look like someone else when you wear the heavy make-up, so be mindful of how you wear your make-up and who wears your make-up. On your special day your make-up should make you look even more beautiful  and elegant.

5, Bridezilla; Don't be that spoiled girl who's behaviour becomes outrageously bad in the course of planning for your wedding. What you do through out your wedding planning process will determine the outcome of your wedding. Don't terrorise your family, bridal party and your wedding planner, don't make greedy demands and break all rules of etiquette, to insure that you are the single most important person on the planet from the time you are engaged to the time you are married otherwise on your wedding day you'd see gloomy faces all about and certain things not going right, and what about the most important aspect which is the marriage how would that work out for you after terrorising everyone. You already will be the most important person on your day but don't let it overwhelm you, so put certain things into perspective, be calm, have someone to always talk to if you must, stay focused and don't allow the idea of getting married run you over.